by Heroics 101

Freshman year mama asked what do you wanna
do when you get out of here.
i said well gee mama, i'm only 13, but i think i'd like to play my guitar...be a star
She said "well thats not so bad...I guess you got some time to go,
good sense will kick in any time you know.
i'm not worried, oh i'm not worried"

Softmore year she asked the same old thing,
my answer had remained unchanged
i smiled, she fidgits with her thumbs,
she said "you like computers right John? Yeah! you like computers don't you?
you see i always see you on a computer! you like computers!
maybee you could do something with computers? yea wouldn't that be nice."

Junior year, its a little more tense she says,
"what do you want to do with your life?"
i'm not on the fence, i know exactly what i am to be
and i'm only 17.

"John, all i ask is that you pay attention in class,
so if you happen to change your mind in time...you can still go
somewhere reputible, and do us proud."
so i went downstairs, shut the door and played guitar loud.

yeah and senior year, its the same old question
she said what you wanna do?
i said "play my guitar and sing" then she said "there's no such thing"
she said thers no such thing"

- John Mayer

Have a great weekend folks.

Be A Hero

by The Asian of Change

So let's begin.

Heroics 101

We begin today's first official, non silly, non "douchey" post. I apologize for what may have been a not so original entry about douche-bags.

The blog is meant for an easy way to get my thoughts out to the public without having me tell you what I'm thinking or how i'm feeling on facebook. We all know how annoying I get on facebook. With that being said, it is not a place for me to whine about my ex girlfriend or school. I want to use this site to reach out and give people a different perspective on things. (of course my experiences) Whether it is about love, life, school or family related issues. I could be dead wrong on things I write about but that's what the whole experience is. Even I could learn a few things from you.


I'm not the best writer, actually I deem myself to be pretty bad...but I will try with the best of my abilities to provide entertaining posts with something to be learned.

On a sidenote, I will still provide silly posts just for the hell of it. If I can't quite accomplish improving someone's quality of life (even for just 5 minutes it takes to read my posts) you'll be sure I'll make up for it with something stupid, which will hopefully produce a smile.

Halfway Hero and I enjoying life.

Today i was greeted by a friend online on how my comedic post about "Build a Douche" was unoriginal and downright stupid. It was followed with an explanation of how I was just another "one of those" without any substance. Being me, I got defensive and showed him my older blogging site (you can have the link by request), which proved to show him that the material was my type of style and was no way emulated. My friend agrees, and I smile feeling happy that I successfully defended myself. I still felt a little hurt and resentful towards him, and questioned why he would be attacking me so. "He had no right, it's MY blog"

it's my goddamn blog!

It was when I asked him if he would also like to join 'the lineup', I realized that he wasn't trying to purposely put me down. Sure, it did bother him that my joke material is 99% of what the blogging community writes about too, but once I cooled down, I was learning.

He replied with my offer with "I'll think about it" but what held him back was my backwards and useless humor which was only considered as a cheap laugh. Even now, I don't think he even squeeked a smile. I quickly withdrew my anger when I heard this, because I knew right at that moment "Build a Douche" was a bad first impression for anyone reading this fresh website.

Most importantly, I learned that my buddy was only doing what was right. You can't really ask for much from friends before they get annoyed/frustrated for clear cut honest advice. But he was right and I was wrong, and he let me know without flowering it up. I think we all should in some way be more forward about something if we care enough about it/him/her.

I have friends who've pissed away a large part of their life and I never once told them what they were doing wrong, or at least told them without giving them the false kind of hope that would justify their decisions...And today that's all changed.

Sometimes we have to risk attacking one's ego to help.

Douche-Camp: BUILD A DOUCHE

by the Asian of Change

Are you tired of being rejected by life? Are you sick of not being noticed by hot skanks at the club? Or are you simply looking for a transformation that will improve every single facet of your ordinary (aka boring) life?!

Well if so, you came to the right place brah!

being a douchebag is great!

Welcome to Douche-Camp! Here is a sneak peek on what is to come in my new "BUILD A DOUCHE" program. The program is split into 4 parts:

• Things Needed (DoucheWear)
• Getting the B
• Building the Hype
• Show ya Swagger

The program will also provide regularly updated douche stories by yours truly, The Asian of Douche.

THINGS YOU WILL NEED

Before we get started on your transformation. A typical "bro" needs to have a set of the following:

I like to call it, The "Bro-Kit"

• flat billed hat
• abrasive cologne (so it can be noticed from at least 5 yards away)
• Extra strong hair gel
• Affliction, Ed Hardy, Rhinestone shirts. All 2x smaller than usual size. (Hollister or Aeropostale will do if you are on a tight budget)
• Full body length mirror
• $1000 dollars for misc expenses (ie. fake tan, alcohol etc.)

Modifications to the bro-kit can be made. Just make sure that your money is spent wisely. For example, getting a nice tattoo sleeve of skulls is better than getting your fourth fake tan of the year. (I recommend at least 3 annually)

GETTING THE LOOK, GETTING THE B.

All seasoned douches know that simply wearing Kit gear is the equivalent of having only Vanilla ice cream. Sure, having the gear already puts you in godly status but you're gonna need to get your body in shape in order to compete with other douchers.

POP QUIZ!: What do all broski's strive for in the gym? BIG FUCKING ARMS

Whoever told you to train the entire body is either crazy or plain dumb. Everyone knows girls like big muscular arms and couldn't give a flying shit about legs or any other body part for that matter. I guess we could throw in a few chest workouts in there but it's only good if the ladies are watching. And abs? Just throw those after every curl workout. (BUILD A DOUCHE, workout program is underway and will be shared soon)

BUILDING THE 'HYPE'

Douche camp will also teach you how to “stage” or simply “build the hype”, and how to do it RIGHT! There are many times when fellow douchebags accomplish steps one and two above but fall short because of their negligence of building douchy reputation.

A sneak peek to a few steps in the right direction

• Facebook posting! Do it right. When talking to males, call ‘em your bro. They will feel comfortable and have respect for you knowing you do for them. To women? Talk them down, make them know you’re the real man. Better yet, call ‘em skanks. (hey how you doing, skank.)

Don’t call them sluts, that’s girl talk.

• Phone calls. Don’t call, text instead! To build massive hype, text when you are the gym. Make sure you text randomly as well. (ie. Pick a girl you like on your list, text: “hey what’s up skank?” you will most likely get a “NM what are you up to babe?” and build the hype with “I’m at the gym getting swole”. It sounds unecessary but you can’t help knowing the chick on the other side can’t wait to grab your big arms

Douche-camp will go more in-depth with “building the hype” later on in the program. So stay tuned for that braah.

Time to release that inner douche in ya.

Small Introduction

by The Halfway Hero

So....
I'm not much of a blogger. In fact, were you to ask me about blogging in the real world, I'd probably say something along the lines of "Blogging? Get the fuck outta here." What the FUCK am I doing here then? Well. the answer to that question is "why not?"

-

I love that response. Think about it. How many times have people responded to something you say with a why not. It is your perfect example of one of those critical-thinking syntactic argument 'If A, then B' things. Or whatever.

You do get to win one if those every so often, when you get a nice setup for it - like when your roommate who loves Halo and Master Chief and Xbox and J-fuckin-Allard asks you to play Halo with him. And you give him your most politely digusted "Why?!", and he hits you with the why not. So you ponder it for a second, and now you're thinking to yourself...hey. here's a chance to be witty, in a nice satisfying, hurtful and insulting way. I'll leave it to you to imagine this scene...whatever you come up with will be better than what really happened - trust me.

-

That is what is known in literature as "digressing". Consider this as my first foray into blogging, sarcastic writing, first hand account and all that jazz. I'll be back when I can, to give you more minutes of my life and those asian kids that look like they just stepped out of a magazine - with the fucked up designer fashions, earplugs, orange hair and 'devil may care' expressions.

All Systems Go

by the Asian of change


We haven't exactly figured out the purpose of this blog yet - but for now you can expect life lessons and valuable nuggets of knowledge on things like sarcasm, examples of "douchebaggery", and the struggle of a young, fresh faced Asian kid on his way to becoming a model and representative for Syntha 6 (not really, that last one). We're no Tucker Max, but we will try to keep you entertained.

We are currently looking for any authors who are interested in writing within this blog as well. Remember that there are no limits. So sit tight boys and girls, let's get this ball rolling.

He's no asian of change...